the cut

so, lover comes home saturday afternoon with a buzz cut. and i'm thinkin', hmm . . .

yanno, this isn't so bad. i kinda like it like this. tellya what, runnin my fingers through his buzz puts a hoohah in my yingyang, the likes of which i'd never known could exist for me, ms. longhairistheonlysexyhair-ness. oh, i have threatened with death some of my lovers, for even the though of cutting off those long and wavy dark locks that rev my yingyang into overdrive. gone for weeks without speaking to them and cut off sex entirely for any infraction on that particular rule. maybe i was just waiting for . . . the right buzz.

it's been several years since the last bioborn man touched me. fortunately, i still like the last one cuz if i hated him, we'd all be in trouble. so it's been with this trepidation that i've even considered letting any lover since him resemble the male species in any way. i like'm to look real tough and act real tough, but don't cut the hair. maybe cuz then they'd look like all the ones i can't stand, the ones i hate the most. but um . . . my lover and his buzz . . .

not yet.

bein the queergirl part of a transcouple is its own kind of reality. add to that my being a tomboy, and it's not so strange that i am as i am as unbalanced as i am. especially in this relationship because it challenges every premature conclusion i had ever reached with respect to gender, identity, roles, and mechanics. i've got most of the skeleton right, but the internal organs, nerves, tendons, and all that shit are another matter entirely. didn't even know i had premature conclusions til they started bein challenged. aint that a bitch

well, no not really, but that's for later.

my lover and his buzz . . .

let's just say that my 'hair' thing is one premature conclusion that is proving to be most . . . delightning . . . delightfully enlightening, that is . . . to dismantle and discard.

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