23.10.07

For Sister E

So I'm on the bus after my shrink appointment, and there's these two guys -- one in the seat in front of me, and the other in the seat behind mine. So, Front Guy asks what time I have, I pull out my cell, and tell him that it's around 9 after 12. So Other Guy asks what time I said, so I repeated it. Other Guy then proceeds to hit on me . . .

'I was wantin to talk to you when you first got on, but didn't know how to pull that off'
Looks like you figured it out.
'Is that all your hair'
It is now.
'I'm 45. How old are you?'
39.
'You got your back to me. How can I talk to your back?'
Sucks for you.

Oh, and the kicker:
'I just got off work. I didn't take no bath but I took one last night and just washed up today'

Ok, first off, EW!
At this point, I'm tired of trying to be nice about tellin him to fuck off. So I said,
'Look, dude, that's TMI. I don't need to know that about you.'

Does he quit?

'I like to bowl. Do you like to bowl?'
No.
'No? I could teach you'
Thanks. I'll pass.
'Like to ride horses?'
No.
'Do you drink?'
No.
'You smoke?'
No.

After getting all NOs, then he goes for the jugular:
'Well what DO you like to do? You must like to do SOMETHIN'

So I turn around and look at him . . .
Shades on, serious look . . .
Low, deadpan voice:

'I go to church and I fuck my girlfriend. THAT'S what I like to do.'

Turned back around. Front Guy is laughin his ass off!!!!!

Takes Other Guy a minute, then he says, 'Your GIRLfriend?'

Not turning around, 'Yes. My GIRLfriend.'

You'd think he'd quit there . . .

'You think God is gonna be okay with that?'

'Look, dude, God made me, and God made my girlfriend, and I can ASSURE you that He made NO mistakes'

'Well you show me in the Bible'

'Dude, I ain't gotta show you SHIT!'

'Well I'm just sayin that I ain't never read in there . . .'

'Well maybe cuz it's not there for YOU to read'

Finally he got off the bus.

Front Dude was still laughin his ass off.

Cheers!

2 comments:

Frogspond said...

Laughing my ass off too!

pflbx said...

Oh...RuBlu....the Almighty Shrinky Dinky....hats off to ya, honey.
Good one!
Yes, I too am laughing my ass off.

Hope all is well...and what's up with the "D" word. Thought you girls knew better than that??:)


... as OUR therapist's would say..."thanks for sharing"...ha ha...

Appreciate the story...and take care!

Sis E