and then a moment later

This is one of my favorite pictures.

My friend JMichael made it. He's at www.ide-a.net. I've always loved his work. There's also a these two butterflies, one on redstone and one on blackstone. JMichael didn't make those. Those were a gift. I can't find the blackstone one and my heart breaks. It was my favorite of the two.

I have these weirdly dark thoughts, but my therapist says that they're normal--at least, she says, they're normal for me (whatever that means). She says she won't have me locked away if I tell her about them, but that's just what she says. Forgive her, for she knows not what she does. I wrote this poem once called father-forgive-them. Or something like that. It's in someplace I can't pull out yet. She doesn't know about that either. She knows that I only tell her about the pretty thoughts and the pretty pictures and the pretty poems. The ugly ones, though, are the most beautiful of all. Just like the butterfly on the blackstone. Just like "veintree" right there. Striking, isn't it?

I have a digital camera, so now I can take pictures of my copper lady and my redstone butterfly. I have to find the blackstone butterfly soon. Otherwise, I'll start having those beautiful thoughts again.

Well, that's a lie.
I never stopped.

I have to go now. I'm going to visit my mother. It's late for Mother's Day, but that's okay. She's expecting me.