i used to be beautiful once

well, maybe not beautiful
prolly just cute or somethin

anyway

so, do i think it's a coincidence that just after i posted that blog about the freaks runnin the country

damn phone

so, a coincidence that i'm at church and there's cops parked outside my house? guess it would be but i don't believe in coincidence (said the athiest to the God). buncha fuckin thought police

y'know the longer i live here, the more i almost hate being in america. it's hard to not capitalize that a, but this is not the america dreamt up by grown men who still flew kites in thunderstorms. the only thing we've done right in the last fifty or sixty years is end jim crow for black people . . . african americans, whatever. but we've got a whole new set of jim crow now, don't we

me and my friend were just talkin about those thoughts you get when somebody's really up yer ass but you've gotta hold it in cuz you've gotta wife, a kid . . . and how much fun those thoughts are to entertain and enjoy at those peculiar times when, instead of being smart and away, they're RIGHTFUCKINHERE. a lilla poke here, a lilla slice there . . . oh what fun it is to ride, ain't it just

my friend has a friend who's never had such thoughts, 'til now. they're so cute when they're little. all skerred and ful'o'woe'n'worry. hate that constipated feelin. and then all of a sudden GUSH. that's the part that feels the best. that's when you know that you're hittin the right spot. i was like that--the ful part--for the better part of thirty years. then allasudden, one day . . . GUSH, and then i was right every since. ay mayun