gimme one reason to stay heah
and i'll turn right back around
gimme one reason to stay here
and i'll turn right back around
said i don't wanna leave you lonely
you've gotta make me change my mind . . .

i wish i could describe in words how our recent show went. it was magnificent. my love and i wrapped the audience round our baby fingers and made them spiritually cum all over the sanctuary. hell, i think we may have even caused a few physical gasms as well. if there were any questions . . .

there were, i know. i've seen them in their eyes. it's always so interesting to look in their eyes. i hardly ever let them look into mine.

so

i sang to him that song first. i didn't know i had a nice ass til a buncha christians started hootin'n'hollerin when i turned my back on'em. that was sweet. my beloved followed with a rendition of essence that had them turnin and twistin in a completely different direction. it was a good thing we were in a church that doesn't do orgies; we'da had to leave at once.

anyway, here i am at the end of this, my first week at the column and i've received over fifty fan emails from everywhere. it's good, too, cuz i've got a lot to say and with moms, wives, sigos, and other people at the backbones of their families readin and respondin, i could set the world on fire, one family at a time. they're gonna archive this one, too, like they do all the rest, prolly sometime tomorrow night. immortality. most amazing thing i've ever known. it's a great day to be the me that you helped create. eye radiate.

i gotta go read my legal terminology book now.