never thought i'd like grillin as much as i do. musta paid more attention to my dad than even i realized cuz cookin over burnin wood comes about as natural to me as breathin and walkin -- which i learned to do FIRST, mind you, or so says my momma who outta know. anyway, fastforad damn near two score and in our back yard, we got this brickoven barbie pit -- no dead barbies in the house -- and i like it and all, and Handsome works just perfectly on it, they know each other like brothers, noshitthesherlock. but it's a long trek and right on the other side of the fence sit our new, intrusive neighbors -- tho it's not their fault they're intrusive, damn builders put the backs of their rowhouses danm near flush up against my back fence. jabberin all in their hispy slang. makes me jealus i don't know more, yno?

soz one day a coupla weeks ago, we wuz in giant and wantin to buy a smaller grill for up on the back porch. well first we went to maxway, but their bullshit costed too much. so we headed over t'the giant where they had bullshitgrills for about ten bucks cheaper. good deal! and we been eatin woodcooked food about three/four times a week now, nonstop. pure, natural -- or as pure and natural as one can get in armpit, that is -- wood grillin. we got so much protein that when we get buff, we gon'be leanbuff. i already lost 40lbs and gettin cruised almost everywhere i go now. i got cruised in CHURCH on sunday. noshitsherlock. cute lil thang, too. sheeit! i never got cruised before, least not so's i'd know it. but these women are . . . women . . . whhhhhhhow

it's nice. but, not even.

so we get this lil doodad home and Honey sets it up and voila! we have a backporch grill. our first experience taught us what to do and how to not do what we should not do. she's been mine ever since.

i LOVE grillin out for Honey. it's one thing that i can do for him that isn't because of something else. i do it because i want to -- not because he's sick or in pain or being an ass or gettin on my nerves or pissin me off or hurtin my feelins or because he asked me to or . . . any of that stuff. there is no, 'i love doing this for you because . . . ' cuz there is no because. it is what it is, and it is very good.

so we hit the grocery about every week and we buy these good-sized roasts on sale and we bring them home and i fire up the barbie and slice'm down into steaks -- another great idea from Honey -- and we season'em and let'em cook over wood from our back yard or sammy's across the way.

speakin of which, wifey is preggers. seven months now. she's so gorgeous. i almost feel like early helena. so, i've gotta try to be a little tamer cuz she's gonna be fierce over this baby and i wanna see this kid as often as possible.

kid of mine is excellent. he told me, on the ride home, that he wants to be married, before he's thirty, to the man of his dreams and he wants to adopt a single baby girl because that's all he can deal with. of course, he wants his best friend to give him away because after all, he says, 'the hag gives the fag away'. k. i did not know that. if that is what he would have, then so shall it be.

he knows that my standards are high. don't be bringin no guttertrash home and actin like you wanna marry him. do, and it'll be the last time you see that thing, ever. and he knows his momma is crazy -- that she could kill somebody, bury'm in the back yard, and never spend a moment in jail because of it. she's crazy. and she's got the papers to prove it. lock me up and medicate me? and that's a bad thing because . . . lock me up in a population of hardtime dykes? and leave me unmedicated? ah . . . such are what sweet dreams are made of

sweet dreams are made of these
who am i to disagree
i've travelled the world and the 7Cs
everybody's lookin for somethin

SOME of them want to use u
SOME of them want to be used by u
SOME of them want to abuse u
SOME of them want to be abused

well
night beckons
so does Honey
ta