i've been trying to figure out what's been depressing me over these last six weeks or so. since i've been back. and i think i know what it is. i think it's having to come back to the same shit i left behind. the same fears the same insecurities, the same arguments and the same emptiness that was all here. it was exhilarating, being down there. being taino, having a sister and lots of little golden brown babies running in the sun. i have the means, the motive, and the opportunity to be down there. i felt whole down there.

i feel a hole up here. not a gaping, gasping chasm. just a hole. hey, i've got a hole joke for ya. if it takes ten men seven hours to dig a hole five feet wide by three feet deep, how long would it take them to dig half a hole?












it wouldn't take them any time. you can't dig half a hole. lol