awakening

shhhhh . . .

So I'm in this e-discussion with my best friend FrogsPond. At the heart of the matter is this little email ditty:

My mom was a homemaker and dad worked all his life and paid into SS. Dad has passed away and now my mom can barely make ends meet. While the possible "illegal" alien in front of her at the grocery store buys the name brands, my mom goes for the generic brands, and day old breads. She doesn't have out of state calling on her phone, because she can't afford it, and shops at the thrift shops and dollar stores while the "illegal" aliens go to Macy's, Gap, J.C. Penny, Banana Republic, etc. She considers having a pizza delivered once a week "eating out". She grew up during the Depression, watched her husband go overseas to fight in WW II a year after their marriage, and then they went on to raise, feed and clothe 5 children, scrounging to pay tuition for parochial schools. I'm sorry, but I can't see how the Senate can justify this slap in the face to born and bred, or naturalized citizens. It's already impossible to live on Social Security alone. If they give benefits to "illegal" aliens who have never contributed, where does that leave us that have paid into Social Security all our working lives? The Senate voted this week to allow "illegal" aliens access to Social Security benefits. Attached is an opportunity to sign a petition that requires citizenship for eligibility to receive social services. If you do not wish to sign the petition yourself, please forward on to anyone you think might be interested.

Ok, with the caveat that I don't "do" online petitions -- or any others, for that matter -- this has been a fun, fun e-discussion.

FPL: Just a quick comment...This petition seems to be about two separate and different issues. The first is Social Security benefits. My understanding is that you need a Social Security Number to get SS benefits. In order to get a Social Security Number you need to file the eligible to work in the US papers.(See link: http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10107.html) The second issue seems to be to allow "illegal" aliens access to socialservices. (Quote from below "Attached is an opportunity to sign apetition that requires citizenship for eligibility to receive socialservices.") My understanding is that social services is medical coverage, school attendance for children and adults and things likethat. I would agree to signing a petition to restrict access to Social Security benefits. I don't feel comfortable signing a petition that appears to be for restricting social services access because I feel that health care, education and other services that fall under that umbrella belong to all of us, legal or not.

BBL: I'd agree to sign both.

I figure if people entering this country want access to the benefits that my tax dollars help pay for, then they need to become legal citizens of this country. In my mind, there's no excuse for living here for 10 or 12 years, having multiple babies and bringing over generation after generation of family members, and expecting US taxpayers to support them all without their becoming legal members of US taxpaying society. I think it's fine to emigrate to another country for better opportunity; I don't, however, think it's fine to break one's new home country's laws and expect those same laws to protect and support them.

Basically, my stance is this: "If you wanna receive US Social Security benefits, then show me your Social Security card so that I'll know that you're contributing to the US Social Security system." I just don't believe in something-for-nothing, especially on this large a scale.

That's what your Social Security number is for, really -- to ensure that should you reach a place in your life where you need Social Security benefits, that you are entitled to those benefits because when and if you have been able, you have contributed to the Social Security system, for the benefit of all of us. If you are not able to contribute because of physical or psychological difficulties, not a problem. But if you're able to work, part of your paycheck should go into that system so that you can reap the benefits -- and that can only happen if you have a SSN.

The government has made it easier than ever for those who have gotten here illegally to become legal citizens. Those who choose to not, in my opinion, need to be deported so that they'll stop taking advantage of federal and state benefits without being held to the responsibility of helping to support those federal and state benefit programs.

"Get Legal, or Get Out."

FPL: I didn't think that you were anti-immigration and I thought the last email was pretty clear about that. (nice tag line by the way) I have to admit, that I am persuaded by the statements you said below. *grumble grumble* :-)

BBL: So okay, let me explain where my response comes from:

Half my family came here as unwilling slaves. The other half was already here, and they got killed and had their land stolen by European invaders. So, needless to say, my ancestors paid a heavy price for my becoming a "legal citizen" of this country. I'm legal, not because I was born here, but because after all the European invaders did to my ancestors, I deserve to be.

See, to me, there's a difference between choosing to come here and being forced to come here. There's also a difference between choosing to come here and being forced to live under the laws of the invaders of your homeland.

Those who choose to come here are already at a distinct advantage, in that as soon as they enter these borders, they are free to come and go as they please, to work and get paid, and to live wherever they choose. That's a priviledge, and I think that they need to treat it as such by respecting the laws we have here.

Now, I'm no great fan of the European invaders and slavers that stole so much from my ancestors. But I will give them props for the imperfect system of government that (now) gives freedom, support, and protection to almost all of its citizens. I think that it's a show of gratitude (among other things) that make me okay with giving up part of my paycheck to the Social Security system. And I think that anybody who chooses to come here, of their own volition, owes a similar debt of gratitude because they couldn't get Social Security benefits in their own homelands -- regardless of who paid into the system. And since it's available here, and they want to be entitled to it here, then they need to pay into the system here -- legally, and without having to be forced to do it.

I'm not anti-immigration. I'm anti-freeloading.

I love it when I can make'er grumble . . .

for da frogster

Get Legal or Get Out.

The only fire and brimstone I believe in is the kind I hurl at people who piss me off.

clap on . . . clap off

for my good friend the frogster . . .

just let me flagellate myself


i promise i'll make it hurt

so there.

so is tony sinclair some corporate bunghole's getoff toy? or is there really a black scot named sinclair?

who's pissed?

so, like i'm watchin mary poppins for probably the fiftyfirst time and she's a carpet bagger.

i love this movie. it's like my favorite of all time. heh. imagine that.

i'm still workin on my essays, though not this minute cuz . . . well, i'm here. toughest essays for me are having to explain in detail why it occurs to me to do something. so, i've just decided to be completely honest -- or, at least as honest as i can be and not be only the nineteenth person [penguin break]
fuckin a

dick van dyke

fuckin hammer musta watched this movie too.

see, two fellers ain't gotta be gay t'dayunce t'gether. no shit

oh yea, . . .to get rejected by seminary. i've probably been on cloud fifteenhundredfiftytwo last coupla days. sometimes i wonder whether i'm the only one who gets giddy at the thought of their pastor okaying their going forward with seminary, but it fuckin rocks.

i mean, i think about celebratin my first Communion and my relationship with my mentor, the day i joined -- at both here and home -- and this and the not-cynical part of me is totally amazed that it seems like yea, God wants me. me. who the fuck am i, that God Almighty should want me to do stuff? i'm pretty sure this is one of them moses moments -- one of those moments when your surely-Lord-not-i is more of a holy-shit than an oh-shit-He's-right. the second kind is that peter kind. i'd like to say i'm done with those, but i know that i'm not. but well, at least i know my archetypes. (thxdb)

had to do this assigment a coupla weeks ago, writing prompts. geekgeek i like'em cuz yea, my favorite subject is actually me. which is why i have a blog. so i don't drive my friends batshit crazy exploring every single solitary bit of bellybutton lint i come across. shitshitshit supercalifragilisticexpialadocious. i remember, my kid brother was six -- the one who's my stepmom's kid, not my mom's youngest -- he had to learn that word . . . well, song, really . . . and it's stuck in my head everytime i hear it or even just think of it, and it stays stuck for days and days.

my lil poohbear is sleepin on her red'n'black blankie. i've only ever seen one other like it. she's half on [clapclap] half off; she's gonna have a thick, pretty coat. she's already gettin her neckfloof. i can sneeze like a bitch and she doesn't move, but i get up and she's at my side instantly.

sara lee is using the ren and stimpy h2j2 to sell sweet, fat shit to people like me who don't need it. how fucked up is that. they're gonna get us . . . one way or another, they're gonna getchusgetchus . . .

she's gonna put me to sleep

funny . . . i'm watchin this law n order where this dude runnin this cult within the tunnels of the ny subway system. and this dude, he's got this thing called psomethingsomethingdothersomethingsophilia. i know it started with a p, but having just read that there's a philia for foot sex -- it, being podo (i'm sharin the love) -- i'll just leave it at that. light hurts. halucinations. they offer nuts up to their goddess in their down below. those nuts.
i'm impressed.

i'm arguing with my civ teacher because she's being unreasonable. hey, i'm a junior and i care about my fellow students. i'd like the perk, sure, but it's really for them.

gonna do homework tomorrow. i'm already too tired tonight.

oh i love cartman, hallway monitor

ike and the teacher . . . why couldn't i have that kinderbabysitter?

i got my pastor's okay to pursue to seminary. and i've chosen one. and it isn't here. i am so insanely giddy. inside, where it counts. i've got this . . . twinkle . . . giddy as a fruitcake. hooray!
one hurdle more, but i'm walkin in the light.

i won't say anymore.

not yet.

come on in
water's fine

that's what the sign read. i've always thought that was such a cool line, so i use it often. y'know, whenev. interestin stuff goin all round me, i see. it's a shit of a time to be in armpit, that's for sure. for one thing, God help'im, he reminds me smack of the manchurian candidate -- the original one, from the sinatra flick. you know, cheney's mom and batty ol'condi's the drunk stepfather. yea, he's mom -- the angela lansbury mom. she's a trip, ain't she.

y'know, if i were the grown up, on-my-own lesbikid of the full-o-vice prez, i could not keep silent. i could not live my life in that closet. i think i'd fuckin hang myself first. what the fuck is up with her? y'know five minutes alone with my tongue and she'd be blowin them closet doors clean off their hinges and the thousand tiny little splinters would embed in daddy and daddy's puppet, one needle at a time. or, so i've heard. maybe that's why i didn't stay in cali when i had the opp. puppetmaster cheney wouldn't be in that seat now if it wasn't for that. dammit, janet.

fuck, i'm beat. it's all i can do to stay up. and when it's this much of a struggle, fuck it.

my civ teacher wanted us to design a hell for the 21st century. . .

The Hell of Our Dreams

I believe that Hell exists only as a construct of our individual minds – as if the thought of going someplace that we truly do not want to be, and spending eternity there, is enough of an incentive for most people to do what is “right” and not what is “wrong”. I believe that we have this good/evil paradigm primarily because: (1) early humans needed a way to explain why “bad” things happen and how our concept of God would punish “bad” people for their crimes; and (2) early churches needed a way to scare the masses into being faithful to organized religion, in order to distinguish between “us” and “them”, “civilized” and “barbaric”. Those are just my opinions, though – beliefs that I hold to be true, according to my own readings, life experiences, and studies of human behaviors. From that premises, the Hell that I would construct (if I were, Heaven forbid, ever given such a task, would look a little different to each individual whose fortune led to That Bad Place Where Bad People Go.

First, I must re-define the word bad, because I think that calling something “bad” confers upon it what author Robert Anton Wilson calls an isness, an ability to “be” something other than what it seems to be.[1] I try to see things as they seem to be, if I have to attach a value judgment to whatever it is I am looking at, at all. For instance, my friend Michael lost his partner of 19 years during last year’s holiday season. To say that he “is” still sad does not lend credence to the fact that there were many moments during the past year where Michael seemed perfectly happy, content, and adjusted. However, if I say that in this moment, Michael seems to be sad, that lends more accuracy to my perception of Michael’s current state of emotions. This is a technique known as English-Prime, or more simply, E-Prime (Wilson 99). So, to define the word bad as it will be used herein, I will simply define it as “having a quality that seems to not be beneficial for one’s self or for anybody else”[2]. Therefore, villains, we will surmise, are the people that commit acts that seem to “bad”.

I have trouble with that because I believe that whatever a person does, it is right, according to that person’s worldview. While a particular decision may not be one that I would make, if I were to put my self in . . . say, Hitler’s shoes, I can not completely guarantee that I would not have made the same choices that he did. Everything from his childhood to his religious beliefs, even to the semi-hallucinogenic effects of the syphilis he is believed to have contracted while in Vienna[3] made an impact on his worldview. He studied, and came to believe in, the works of Lanz von Liebenfels and Georg von Schoenerer; he learned politicking from Karl Luger.[4] If I had, too, would I hate Jews?

So, to design Hitler’s Hell, he would just have to be made to believe that he had it all wrong – that really, God (as he knew God) really did favor the Jews and Jesus was really a Jew. Or better, to have him believe that his own mother was Jewish. I believe that either of those scenarios would be worse than any amount of fire and brimstone for the poor son of Alois and Klara Hitler.

I chose Hitler because he always seems to be the obvious choice for people looking for someone to reserve a special seat in Hell for. But there are other “villains”, too, like bank robbers and rapists. A bank robber likely fears poverty, so Hell for a bank robber would mean internalizing the thought that no matter what that person has, s/he will always be looked upon – even by her/himself – as poor. Hell for a rapist, I think, would be spending eternity as eunuched sex slave. Or at least, having that rapist believe that that is what s/he “is”, and not just “seems to be”.

If I were to design a 21st century Hell, it would not be of bricks or mortar or other things that can physically decay. In my 21st century, Hell would be more subtle, like a post-hypnotic suggestion – and not one dealing with fire and brimstone. It would be one that made the Hell-bound one relive his most excruciating fear, over and over and over again.


[1] Wilson, p. 100
[2] Author’s definition
[3] http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitler.html
[4] Ibid.


Sources Cited

Adolph Hitler (1997). The Jewish Virtual Library: A Division of the American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise. Retrieved 26 November 2006 from http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org.

Wilson, Robert Anton (1990). Quantum Psychology: How Brain Software Programs You & Your World. AZ: New Falcon Publications

gettin primed

caught myself the other day sayin somethin like how you know it's really bad when daddy bush looks good to vote for in oh-eight. daddy bush. that's when i realised that they've got me. subliminally, with all these political cartoons -- they know how much i love cartoons -- with the lesser bush slopped over his daddy's knee, gettin primed for the whupin . . . i agree, though, it is just a little late for that

but we're gettin primed, too, nonetheless. see, if they can just get enough of us lookin at what's out there, then maybe enough of us will say that we at least know that hell, but who knows what havoc will wreak if a woman who still gets pms happens to be runnin the country. what if she gets pregnant? could we actually trust ourselves to behave long enough for her to plop that little sucker out? prolly not.

and this barrack obama guy . . . he's pretty cute, to say the least, but could we take him seriously as white house material? if he's in the runnin, well . . . best maybe to let the woman take the top spot. it's always nice when she takes the top spot, ain't it? but don't let me digress . . .

personally, seein's how they've got me sayin daddy bush and poppa bush and all that crazy shit, best thing i can prolly do is never step foot in politics, not even to vote. big brother's watching, but what he don't know is that little sister is watchin him. you can be sure she's learnin lots, too, never forget.

i'm feelin pretty primed now. think i'll go find a vicodin and lull my ass to sleep.

cheers

suddenly, there's too much lint in here. i think i wanna make a movie.

rainy, warm, and grey
was it that way
the day you were born
do you remember
i wouldn't be surprised if you did
we are talking about you
after all

i told you that i would never forget
and i never lie
well, not to you, anyway

happy birthday, t or db or who . . . ever you are today
love always, n or yj or whoever i am today

amazing what i can do when i'm trying to not think about hurlin' by the side of the road every ten miles or so

i actually took these, by the way